My 6 Favorite Games From 2014

6. Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair

So, what would happen if a bunch of generic and cliche anime characters were put into a murder mystery in which they all became a closed circle of suspects? An incredibly fun PS Vita game. It's like Phoenix Wright and the movie Battle Royle had a fucked up baby and it's awesome for it.

5. Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc

Yeah this is the only reason this is a top 6 list, play this series, please.

4. Tales from the Borderlands

I love Borderlands, I love Telltale Games, of course I was going to love this. We're only 1 episode into it but I'm already in love with Rhys and Fiona, then again it's Troy Baker and Laura Bailey, it would be dumb of me not to love them.

3. Conception II: Children of the Seven Stars

Ah Atlus, you make JRPGs I just enjoy playing, Conception was a series that I had never heard of until the demo hit the PSN, I spend it pretty much grinding my levels in the demo and carried them over, there's 2 RPGs that I do my best to play through once a year, Final Fantasy IX and Persona 4, this has become number 3.

2. Grand Theft Auto V

What's there to say? Trevor. That's all there is to say.

1. Metal Gear Solid 5: Ground Zeroes

Probably the worlds highest grossing playable teaser, and it did just what it was designed to, wet my apitiet for The Phantom Pain, I love MGS and am acheing to hear the rest of the story, get to it Kojima.

Happy Holidays Everybody

The once a year Christmas cheer.

So it's that time of year again were we all pretend to be excited about socks, eat a load of food and drink more then your own body weight. While I could be all "bah humbug" about it the fact is I fall for Christmas every year, I think we all do really we just wouldn't want to admit it.
Yes Christmas songs get played in shops 8 months in advance and yes all the adverts are the same but it's part of the charm...

Oh god this makes me sound like I'm the victim of Christmas domestic abuse. "Christmas hits me because he loves me to much to express vocally, he just screams ho at me a lot."

The simple fact about christmas is this, people hate the lead up to it, not the day it's self, it's just a shame it took me 10 years to figure that out.

Anyway, be merry, eat well and drink obsesivly.
Merry Christmas.

Grand Theft Auto V: Some Things I've Done.

I've been playing it, and managed to pull my self away long enough to type some words about it.

I think it's customary to recall some of the more awesome things that have happened while playing so I'll hop right into it;

Thing #1
after modding a muscle car and putting wheelie bars on the back of it I blew up a lorry towing a gas container leading to a 3 star wanted level, in an attempt to escape I headed off road, constantly fighting to keep the car in control, after about 5 minutes I spun out, sliding towards two trees with I slid through... atlest I would have if I didn't put those bars on the back, I was austin power'd between the trees, as I was getting out of the car a police ranger rammed me, flipping my car and crushing me.

Thing #2
while trying to de-rail a train I parked a semi on the tracks with a trailer attached, the train hit the trailer causing it to swing out wildly, clotheslining me in the process.

Thing #3
using the blueprint map that came with the special edition version of the game, I started robbing multiple gas stations and convenience stores while the police were chasing me, I make off with $10,000 before being rammed off the road and taking out 2 choppers and multiple police in a shoot out and finishing myself off with a poorly thrown grenade.

Thing #4
I brought a comet, modded it and painted it in a matte lime green before going Tokyo drifting around the narrow streets of the vinewood hills, not as impressive as the other 3, but I had just as much fun.

so there, 4 things I've done in this awesome game, I look forward to trying some of the more crazy ideas I have come October 1st, but for now, I'm off to go carry on playing.

The Soul Crushing Abyss of "Customer Service"

So today I have an experience with my xbox that I never wish to repeat, I could go on a long winded explanation but I won't, you can either read this, or know that is basically comes down to Microsoft suspended my xbox live account because they couldn't charge my debit card, so I tried to log into xbox.com to disable the auto renewal of my gold subscription when I was greeted with Microsoft Outlook's incredibly flawed Verify system, the only e-mail I had listed on it was an old hotmail account from 8-9 years ago that was lost to the same verifying system, forcing me to change every password on everything, needless to say I'm not a fan of this thing, so I switched it using my phone to verify because I thought it would be easier, which it was, but then I was greeted with this.

so now I have to wait until tomorrow to turn off auto renewal, and I'm not even sure it will fix it.

so I got on twitter and started asking xbox support for help, didn't get a response until I posted this tweet.

from there we had a back and forth were they told me to do all the things I've already tired, and to try them again, which resulted in my favorite part about the exchange.

in fact the only good thing to come out of this was the help I received from a bunch of people, which I have since found out didn't matter as the codes you guys all gave me couldn't be used on a suspended account.



needless to say I'll be waiting in line at the Xbox One's launch to buy a PS4 and a Wii U.

say what you want about how the PS3 was hacked, at lest everyone got a free game out of it, all I got from this is a xbox help line phone number and an urge to put something sharp against my neck.

Why "Catherine" Is In My Top Five Current Gen Games

Catherine's Wiki Page

Catherine Box Arts

The game play it's self is a simple block based puzzler, now that's not saying puzzle games can't be fun, just look at Portal and Quantum Conundrum, I just think it might have put people off from playing it. What really makes Catherine stick out to me is the story.

OK, so it's nothing ground breaking, what it basically comes down to is our Protagonist, Vincent Brooks, wants his life to stay the way it is, he's content with where he and his girlfriend, Katherine, are in their relationship, he doesn't want to take the next step and Katherine says she doesn't mind that, but then, like every other Atlus game, A death under mysterious circumstances leads to our story's beginning.

like I said, nothing amazing, but the best stories are the ones that sound simple on paper.

so I'll admit, the anime style might have charmed me from the beginning, I'm not gonna lie, but I'm glad it did because it's one of the few games I'm aware of that does the whole "moral" system really well, because it's not about choosing to blow up megaton or punch a reporter in the face, it's the white lies everyone of us tell to spare feeling or disperse suspicion, the gray areas of morality, and yes for the sake of having the data to allow for the different ending the game does attribute "good" and "bad" to each choice but it never feels like that, my first time through the game I was a honest about my answers and what I would do as I could be and I felt justified for it, the second time I decided to be the biggest dick I could be and found myself feeling bad about it.

the puzzle sections themselves are actually quite taxing on the mind, and it's not helped as you're on a time limit the whole time, it creates a great sense of panic which is what the puzzle sections are trying to accomplish, so good job game.

I've not really gone into spoilers because I really do want to do a playthrough which I'll start some time this month, but if you can't wait then I implore you to go out and buy the game.

you'll learn alot about whiskey playing it.

Half Way Through Being Down By 2.

What seems like a weird experiment started on me (aptly enough) on the 1st of April, for my Dad's 50th birthday my mom decided to take him on holiday to Memphis, leaving me in the house by myself for 10 days, and so far I have been really enjoying it, though looking after the cat has confirmed I won't want any pets in my own place.

As I'm typing this I'm 5 days into the 10 day freedom-a-thon, so far I've gotten drunk, had alot of food delivered, punched my cat in the face (not on purpose), been as big of an asshole as I possibly can be to telemarketers and made a friend throw up by discussing the "adult" career of Sensi Pearl. I've also laughed alot by making people Google "it only smellz".

In fact the only thing I've really noticed since being by myself is I've actually started going to sleep at reasonable times, except for the first night, were I stayed up all night playing Call of Duty and then proceeded to keep myself awake until 7pm watching The Pet Girl of Sakurasou.

anyway I'll post a wrap-up of my experience once the ten days are up, who knows, I might have had a break down by then.

How Final Fantasy VII & IX Will Stop Me From Getting Laid.

So Final Fantasy VII hit stores on November 17^th,  1997,  I’m five,  we’d just gotten a Playstation a couple of months prior, my Dad just brought himself one and it sat hooked up to the TV in the living room,  in the front room we had a Mega Drive hooked up to shittiest ten inch TV you’d ever seen but I didn’t care, cause my daily routine was, get up, get dress for school , run down stairs and eat cereal out of the box while playing Sonic 2, go to school, come home, play Sonic 2 until I fell asleep, rinse and repeat.

FF7’s release was on a Monday, the following Saturday me, my mom, my dad and my sister all go out shopping, now my parents shop for Christmas throughout the year so November is last minute for them, so of course we end up in toys r’ us and I run straight for the video games, dad follows me, I’m there looking for Sonic 3, I didn’t even know there was a Sonic 3 until I’d saw the cartridge on my older cousins desk when I’d been at my uncles house a couple of weeks before hand, so I was looking intently for Sonic, while I’m doing that my dad’s looking through the Playstation games and sees Final Fantasy VII, so he picks it up for himself, I end up finding a copy of Sonic 3, so I’m over the moon, so we get home, I rush straight into the front room, don’t even care that it’s meant to be a present for me, I start playing and loving every second.

Couple of hours later my mom and my sister leave the house again, I don’t really remember why, I’m still playing sonic having an awesome time, when I hear my dad boot up the Playstation, and for the first time I hear that bass that plays when you started a PS1, I hadn’t even touched the Playstation, far as I was concerned that was his, I just played my Sega. But then I hear that piano that plays over the opening credits, and I just think what is that? So I just turn off my Sega and just walk into the living room, just as the opening sequence with the long pan to show all of Midgar, the logo, and then the zoom to the train and my jaw just fucking drops.

Took my dad 4 months to beat that game, and I was sat by his side for every second, transfixed by every single FMV, I didn’t even really know what was going all I remember thinking is “this is better than any cartoon ever, why don’t they make them all look like that?”

People look back at FF7 and some claim it to be amazing, others just think it’s the nostalgia talking, for me it’s not about how good the game is or isn’t, I play it now and I think it’s good, but the most important thing for me about it was that it was a 4 month journey me and my dad shared, it was a bonding point.

The reason I’ve bring this all up is that Final Fantasy, to me, is important cause it reminds me of that time, a happier time.

So we skip forward a couple of years, (my dad had actually brought and tried FF8 without telling me, thought it was shit and sold the thing, and with having tried it now I can say, thank you dad) it’s 2001 now and I’m nine, my dad comes home from work with a copy of Final Fantasy IX he’d brought second hand from a workmate, it was Sonic 3 all over again, I didn’t even know there was an 8, let alone a 9,  at that point the Sega was gone out of the front room, the PS1 had gone to my sister and I had a PS2 in my room, so I ran upstairs, grabbed my PS2 and rushed down to hook it up to the living room TV and me and my dad just play, 4 years later and it was the same jaw dropping awe-inspiring experience for me, it’s such a moment of my childhood that I’ve always thought of it as something me and my dad shared so when I thought about writing this I asked him for a quote about it.

“Seeing those 2 games for the first time is the only time I remember ever having seen you just shut the fuck up.” –LadDad

Hardly Shakespearian but the mother fucker has a way with words.

So, the simple fact is any lady boner pointed at me would be deflated at the mere sight of this post, so why write it?

Well there are many reasons I could tell you, one possible reason is I think it’s important to mark the roots of a hobby which I’ve been doing for as long as I can remember and will continue to do as long as my hands can move, another reason could be that this memory of me and my dad sharing in this experience is something that I hold very dear and would like to have it written down in some way.

Ultimately though there’s only one reason I wrote all this…

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I wanted a good excuse to type the term “lady boner”, sounds better than “getting a clit on.”